EMILY GRACE KING
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Ironic Baby, my Hipster Brand of Nursery Art Printables

5/27/2016

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While browsing instagram/etsy/the internet, I keep seeing these ultra-simple, instant download nursery art printables that say things like "Be Brave" and "dream big, little one" in a trendy "hipster" font. Occasionally, the text is adorned with simple graphics like arrows.
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Why are people paying $5 to download a picture of two words in a font that is free to download? Babies can't even read.

​I created some designs of my own to mock this cliché decor, each using a phrase from best-selling nursery instant-download printables. Most designs are available in pink or blue for traditional girls and boys, and in black or non-conforming colors for the gender-neutral baby.

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 You are our greatest adventure, so please don't ruin it for us with the "terrible twos" or teen angst or by being a bad person in general.
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First we had each other, then we had you, now we are super in debt & have everything​ that targeted advertising told us we needed to buy to be good parents.
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This is called a compass rose. You will probably never use a physical compass in your life. It's best to just sit back and let Waze take you wherever you need to go.
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Reach for the Stars. Haha, you look stupid. Your arms are way too short to reach the stars, kid. 
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Be Brave. Or not, because honestly, even if you are a huge coward and lock yourself into your house and become a hoarder when you grow up, I will still love you more than anything else in this world. But life will be a whole lot more enjoyable if you act with courage, and I want you to love your life because I love you.
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Dream big, little one, but remember that college tuition can result in a crippling debt that will leash you to your menial job and erase your hopes of becoming financially independent and achieving your life goals.
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A Mermaid Sleeps Here. JK, this is a human baby. Please don't steal her for science.
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You belong among the wildflowers. I think that is a safe place for babies, right? Like, in nature and stuff? I hope you aren't allergic to pollen or bees. Come to think of it, you might belong indoors binge-watching Netflix. I'm not sure yet; you're just a baby.

To my faithful readers who know that I have been neglectful of the blog lately: I've been doing a lot of art and design work that hasn't made its way on my website yet, but it is coming. Hope you enjoyed this quick, silly design project!
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